Author Archives
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Celtics Postgame Scuffle Over Calzone?
Tensions ran high in the Celtics’ locker room Thursday night after Boston blew a 17-point lead to go down 0-2 to Miami in the Eastern Conference Finals, resulting in verbal clashes between players, specifically Marcus Smart and Jaylen Brown, before… Read More ›
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Irish to Dump ACC, Join Big Ten for Football
When Notre Dame joined the ACC for the 2020 college football season amid the global pandemic, there was really no other option. Why shove your schedule’s head into the woodchipper of SEC football when you could hide in the ACC… Read More ›
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Vols to Allow 100% Capacity Crowd with Virtual Masks
The University of Tennessee announced Tuesday it will become the first major college football program to host a game at full stadium capacity in 2020. By implementing virtual face masks, the Vols will be able to cram 102,455 asses into… Read More ›
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NFL 2020 Preview: Sixteenish Things to Watch For on Sunday
It’s finally over!!! We’ve been pretending for weeks to actually give a shit about baseball, bubbleball, hockey, etc., because there was nothing else to watch. We were right there with you, excited to see the delayed NBA and NHL playoffs… Read More ›
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Mahomes Pulling New Trick Literally Out of Ass
Since setting the league on fire in 2018, Patrick Mahomes has consistently redefined creativity from the quarterback position. He mesmerized the football world with his no-look passes and crazy arm angles; he’s thrown critical completions with his left hand and… Read More ›
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Djokovic on Hitting Line Judge in Throat: “She Started It”
NEW YORK — A thing happened in tennis! Novak Djokovic, the #1 ranked tennis player in the world, was disqualified from the US Open on Sunday after hitting line judge Laura Clark in the throat with a tennis ball. The… Read More ›
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UGA to Start Female QB After Newman Opts Out?
Jamie Newman was supposed to be UGA’s starting quarterback in 2020. The Wake Forest transfer had been projected as QB1 since he chose Georgia, but the talented 5th year senior abruptly opted out of the 2020 season this week to… Read More ›
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Foles’ Penis Opts Out
While former Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles is locked in a stiff competition with Mitch Trubisky for the starting quarterback job in Chicago, his enormous penis has opted out of the 2020 season due to COVID-19 concerns. Foles, one of… Read More ›
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Protestors Remove Statue, Realize It’s Actually Lou Holtz
Hall of Fame football coach Lou Holtz was released from the Orlando Medical Center on Friday after protesters mistook him for a statue and removed him from the city hall steps late Thursday night. The former Notre Dame head coach… Read More ›
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This Week in Sports History: Maury Wills vs. Schwab’s Swamp
In August of 1962, Maury Wills was on a mission. The Dodgers infielder was stealing bases at a scorching pace, leading LA into first place in the National League with one month of regular season remaining. Perhaps the only catcher… Read More ›
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