Irish to Dump ACC, Join Big Ten for Football

When Notre Dame joined the ACC for the 2020 college football season amid the global pandemic, there was really no other option. Why shove your schedule’s head into the woodchipper of SEC football when you could hide in the ACC and pray to Field Goal Jesus that Trevor Lawrence catches COVID?

But the Big Ten announced on Wednesday it will return to football on Oct. 24th, and the Irish are reportedly second-guessing the ACC commitment already.

Even though the school agreed to a one-year contract with the conference for the 2020 football season, Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick reportedly had his fingers crossed behind his back when he signed it, fully negating the school’s contractual obligations to the ACC.

The ACC legal team met for over 4 hours today before ultimately conceding there was no recourse for Swarbrick’s crafty move.

“Once the contract was executed and notarized, it became official,” ACC head attorney Gassidy Gutler explained. “However, if Mr. Swarbrick’s fingers were crossed at the time, both parties are relieved of all affiliations and obligations contained therein.”

“For lack of a proper explanation, Mr. Swarbrick finger-fucked us.”

Swarbrick expressed to several school officials in days before signing that he felt the ACC contract was a bit overbearing for a one-year agreement. The ACC contract forced Notre Dame to share 50% of the TV revenue from its long standing deal with NBC, and ACC President John Swafford introduced the team to his parents literally the first week they met him.

The proposed agreement with the Big Ten will only require the Irish to share 20% of the TV money and they won’t have to play Ohio State in the regular season, guaranteed. The Big Ten plans for each team to play nine games, so the Irish will play Rutgers three times, twice at home.

And while several Big Ten coaches have voiced concern over adding a 15th school to the conference, Big Ten President Kevin Warren believes most people won’t even notice.

“Ten years from now, nobody will remember that Notre Dame played one fucking season in the Big Ten,” Warren argued. “Nebraska’s been in our conference since 2011, and I honestly thought they were still in the Big 12 until last year.”

Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh was ecstatic about the Big Ten’s decision to opt back into a football season, but admitted he struggled with Warren’s comments. “I heard Kevin’s interview this morning, and I don’t like it one bit,” Harbaugh hissed. “Nebraska just feels like a Big 12 team, man.”



Categories: Footballs

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