Djokovic on Hitting Line Judge in Throat: “She Started It”

NEW YORK — A thing happened in tennis!

Novak Djokovic, the #1 ranked tennis player in the world, was disqualified from the US Open on Sunday after hitting line judge Laura Clark in the throat with a tennis ball. The Joker appeared to swat the ball in frustration when Pablo Carreno Busta broke his serve, thumping Clark directly in the trachea.

Djokovic initially ran over to check on Clark, who was knocked to the ground and visibly gasping for air, but he didn’t mince words Monday morning when discussing his true intentions.

“She started it,” Djokovic claimed. “Laura was heckling me all weekend about the new Taylor Swift album and I finally snapped.”

Djokovic has considered himself a “Swiftie” for years, but he recently voiced his displeasure with Swift’s decision to drop the F-bomb on her latest album, Folklore. “My kids listen to this shit, Taylor!” he posted on Swift’s Instagram page. “I don’t care if they grow up to be drippy little sluts,” Djokovic continued, “but they’re not gonna be drippy little potty-mouth sluts.”

Clark was rushed to the hospital within minutes of the incident and is currently in stable condition. Her attorney, Becky Specklefield, said her client still cannot speak, but she’s able to breathe again without assistance. However, if doctors can’t restore Clark’s vocal chords, Specklefield speculated that a full neck replacement could be necessary. 

“Mr. Djokovic’s behavior was unacceptable, so we hope he does whatever is necessary to make it right,” Specklefield said in an unprepared statement Monday. “If Ms. Clark requires surgery, we expect Mr. Djokovic to donate a portion of his infinite neck.”

According to NecksGen Stats, the Joker has the second longest neck in professional tennis, behind only the 6’10 American John Isner, whose neck is technically a femur.

“Even if I intentionally crushed her windpipe yesterday, I genuinely hope Laura makes a full recovery,” Djokovic confirmed. “I’m not trying to give that bitch half of my neck.”

He went on to suggest that Clark’s wardrobe was also partially responsible for the incident. “Did you see that grey Polo she was wearing?” Djokovic scoffed. “She was practically begging for one to the throat.”

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